are you still alive?

Hello elusive Alee,

I haven't seen you in a long time. Well. I guess I saw you last month just before Justin abandoned us.

Since I haven't seen you in forever I thought I would give you a gift.

The gift of photography.

My mom took that picture of the cat desperately trying to teleport himself outside so he could eat the baby bird and its mother.

He's yawning, but it looks like eating.

We met this coyote one early morning in Yellowstone. He stared at us for a while before he decided we were no threat, peed, and sauntered off.

I feel like the next two need no explanation.

I was really looking for wolves, but I got a few good shots of far away trees instead.

My sister and I would like jewelry based on this:

You get on that, okay?

I don't know why, but I just like this next picture.

And this one:

Finally, I knitted this, and I wear it a lot, and you should absolutely be jealous:

We should get together soon.

Kelly

A Whirlwind of Updates!

Kelly,

Sorry it's taken me so long to finally get back to you. My life has been positively insane.
Okay, so.
I'm just going to tell you the story of how my life took yet another turn for the crazy.
Well, as I told you, (at least, I think I did... my bad if not) I am taking a break from school. I'm not going to do Summer classes like my Grandmother wanted and I don't think I'm going back in the Fall. I want to take about a year to get a good job and a place of my own.
When I told Grandma this, she got very upset. She disagrees with my decision and therefore (her words, not mine) cannot support it. So, she cut me off. This was on the 10th of last month.
She wrote me on Facebook telling me that she'd cut off my phone and that she'd no longer be paying rent for me or putting money in my card.
She also wrote to say that rent was due on the 15th, so I had to either pay up or get out, all in a matter of five days.
I freaked out, and was at the Family's house (which is now actually aot closer to me than before, which I am loving) thinking I'd be homeless in about 5 days, and Mom was freaking out because they didn't think there would be enough space for me in the new place (it's kinda teeny and cramped).
But we talked about it and looked at Julian's room and figured out that there may be a tiny bit of space after all.
Turns out Grandma ended up paying the last month's rent because she realized that Dee needs a warning and she didn't want either of us to go through the reprocussions of that. So, I have more time to find a job and get out (I can't live with Dee anymore because I will not be a student, but I also don't want to, so this kind of works out in an odd way...).
So, I've been trying to jobhunt and get my room in order and stuff ready for packing, and I'm also takin this oppertuity to get rid of a bunch of my crap. I've realized I have hoarding tendencies that I need to nip at the bud.
*WHEW.*

So that's basically the tornado that currently is my life for ya.
I'm alright, and I have enough people offering to shove their boots where the sun don't shine, but thanks for the motivation, it does help.

How are you?
Random sidenote, I saw your profile pic with stalker number 2. NUMBER 2, and HE gets a profile pic with you before NUMBER ONE??
I've decided we need to have a photo adventure sometime soon.
Because I miss you.
...And I want a profile pic with you...

Lurve yeew.
-Alee

Okay. Fine.

Alee,

I am having a terrible day. Terrible. I cried in Mrs. Joyce's room. In front of her students. Some of whom I teach. Now they know that I have emotions. This is not good.

But you're right. I need to wear the ampersands more often. I'm wearing the scissors right now, just like I do every day, but I haven't worn the ampersands in months. I've been wearing the little gold sand dollars instead.

I also bought a giant octopus necklace with keys hanging from its tentacles. It pretty much rocks. I like jewelry. We should go jewelry shopping.

I've been to the crazy light place from which your picture was taken. It was weird. And Silent. No one else was there, and it was almost creepy. Except that it was so light that the creepiness dissipated. Creepiness dissipated. Interesting idea. Usually creepiness creeps and hovers and suffocates. But there the creepiness dissipates.

Okay. I've written. I know it's been a while. Sorry.

Happy now?
Kelly

Dear Kelly Arbuckle, you're Golden.

Dear Kelly,

I was thinking of jewelry last night before I fell asleep, and I've come to a conclusion;

I believe there's not a whole lot of pairings I like more than your little golden Ampersand earrings and little golden Scissor necklace. You should take a picture. That would be lovely.

Oh, and it's your turn, in case you've forgotten. I don't care what you write, Lady, just write something!

[This photo is unrelated, but neat.]

[Oh, and I did not take it because I was too busy taking one of my own with my phone.]

[My friend Matthew Marand took this of me.]

[Also, it's in the Dan Flavin gallery.]

[Which is basically a branch of the Menil.]

I'm Still Writing.

At least, I am trying to.

I wrote four poems tonight. I wanted to share them somewhere, but at first, I didn't know where.

Then I thought of you.

And the blog. Well, when we first started the blog. That funny text conversation that led up to it.

I miss you.

And I thought maybe you'd like for me to pop in and try and keep you abreast of my life.

Well, this is my life at this exact night, these are the thoughts I felt someone needed to hear.

Or maybe that I needed for someone to hear.

Four Poems from January 7th, 2010.

At the corner of Overlook and Misleading

I walk along the street in the cracks of the concrete and I go marching down that lane al on my own. I walk down and inside and along these cracks onto which the likes of you dare not venture, my friend.

Spelling is an error only the blind man makes?
What kind of mockery is this?

Cracks in the beauty

Or beauty in the cracks?

They are broken like the souls of the people of the city who tread upon it.

They being these concrete paths slabs of self rightousness and survival of the fittest…

Or natural predisposition.

(Or supernatural at that.)

Beauty in all that stands beneath us?

What kind of trickery have you, strange fool?

Beauty in the cracks that surround us!

Beauty in the cracks we let ourselves fall into/1

That we’re drawn into.

That we climb into!

The beautiful caverns in which we immerse ourselves

And better yet

Our souls, my friends.

A Mean Case of the Ons and Offs

We are all here at once in this very place.

This rickety place it shakes

And turns

And roars past.

This tricky, odd place

Of ons ad offs.

That is our ride. We are schedules

Full of ons

And offs.

And we ride at rest

Or in panic

Or hurry.

Sometimes, we ride in a daze.

Sometimes still, we are not inside,

But rather,

It is our vehicle that surrounds us.

We are flying over the pavement and everything is a bright blur while

We

Soar.

Soar to a

Stop

…And the rest of us,

on to the next.

We are ons.

And we are offs.

They write stories about capturing moments like our love is.

Memories like a double exposure

On a darkened plane

With nothing but the night sky

Beneath

The rising sun in the rearview.

Silver spoons and Golden combs

Misty shores and brush fires

You are, in this picture of mine,

A prince

In a red Cadillac from the 50’s

With aviators

And wind-brushed hair

And Golden California skin

With warm wooden fireplace eyes

And a smile sex on the beach brings.

Music in your love

Wind all over our bodies

Sun in our hearts and behind

Our eyes

They meet

And for a moment

If just

A moment…

We are the sun setting and the click of the shutter

And the wind gliding over the ocean and the hood

And the sun glinting off of a pair

A pair

Of sunglasses.

They write stories about capturing moments like our love is.

We Can’t Afford Not to Be Our Own Gods

Flights of stairs

Flights of fancy

Flights of stares

And fares

And dares.

We arrive

In glitter

And we are

Gilded

With golden chocolate.

They devour us

Sliver

By sliver.

We relish their teeth

We crave their tongues

We need their thirst

Their longing

Their souls.

We fight to be devoured

Because here and now

Everyone wants to be devoured

In a manner most becoming of anything

New

And undone

Before.

We come undone at them clawing us apart at the seams

Yet we throw ourselves

At the slobbering jowls of the beasts.